As long as foolishness exists, sarcasm is here to stay. since foolishness is boundless, you can anticipate sarcastic captions and quotes to be enough.
you can show the world just how sarcastic you are. Not everyone will understand, but at least you’ll be able to enjoy yourself. After all, sarcastic comments and mordant remarks are often treated by humour.
Here you can find the words to excellently describe your post. Here we provide list of Best Sarcastic Captions 2021.
1. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”
2. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
3. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”
4. “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
5. “Find your patience before I lose mine.”
6. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
7. “Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.” Robin Williams, Actor
8. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” Steven Wright
9. “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”
10. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defence against stupidity.”
11. “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”
12. “Life’s good, you should get one.”
13. “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”
14. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”
15. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”
16. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
17. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”
18. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”
19. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”
20. “You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone’s losing a trailer, numberone.” Robin Williams, Actor
Sarcastic Captions for Instagram
1. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”
2. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”
3. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”
4. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
5. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”
6. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
7. “Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realising it.”
8. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
9. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”
10. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”
11. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant
12. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
13. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams, Actor
14. “My neighbour’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”
15. “I would like to apologise to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.”
16. “When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East.’”
17. “Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what’s on my mind is so immense, I need a napafterwards.”
18. “The stuff you heard about me is a lie. I’m way worse.”
19. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”
20. “Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.”
Sarcastic Captions for Whatsapp
1. “I’ve birthed an entire baby in less time than it takes my husband to poop.”
2. “Right before I die I’m going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.”
3. ““If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.”
4. “Marriage. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.”
5. “Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once.”
6. “How much better would it be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire?”
7. “What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.”
8. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”
9. “Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘send’ button by 89%.”
10. “I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I go normal from time to time.”
11. “I don’t keep secrets, I just keep people out of my business.”
12. “Be the reason someone smiles today… Or the reason someone drinks. Whatever works.”
13. “I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.”
14. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.”
15. “I’ll get over it. I just need to be dramatic first.”
16. “Lead me not into temptation. I know the way.”
17. “Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing ANYTHING away EVER. I snuggle out broken crayons like aMexican druglord.”
18. “Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.”
19. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”
20. “My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you. It’s just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless.”
Sarcastic Captions for Facebook
1. “You’re everything I want in someone I don’t want anymore.”
2. “If they act like they can live without you… Help them do it.”
3. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.”
4. “Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.”
5. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”
6. “You play the victim. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”
7. “Never mistake my silence for weakness. Nobody plans a murder out loud.”
8. “My neighbours listen to good music whether they like it or not.”
9. “Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.”
10. “I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.”
11. “I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”
12. “I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.”
13. “Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”
14. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”
15. “My boss said I intimidate my co-workers. I stared at him until he apologised.”
16. “Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.”
17. “It’s amazing how clean my house can get when I’m pissed off.”
18. “Instead of ‘single’ as a marital status they should have ‘independently owned and operated.’”
19. “I don’t fall asleep. I overthink myself into a coma.”
20. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.”
The Best Sarcastic Captions
Always remember that if you’re no good, then you can still be used as a bad example.
Actually, the entire universe does revolve around me!
Being hated and ignored makes my life a whole lot easier to manage.
Cancel my subscription! Your issues are not worth my time and effort.
Check back in about five years. By then, maybe I’ve started to care.
Curing the world one sarcastic comment at a time.
Deep inside, I know that my my heart is golden. But this mouth of mine? That’s another story.
Do you know what I like about humans? Their dogs.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not in shape. By the end of the day, “round” is still a shape.Don’t take my insults seriously. I’m just being sarcastic.
Excuse me, I know this is hell, but may I ask which floor?
Even the devil stops working just to admire my work.
Ever wondered why I don’t have a welcome mat at my door? It’s because I’m not a liar.
Every so often, I meet people and feel bad for their pets.
Find your calm before I totally lose mine.
For some reason, you look really when my eyes are closed.
Forgive and forget? I’m neither God nor an amnesiac.
Hush, nobody cares!
I really want to be a nice person, but this mouth of mine never cooperates.
If I light you a candle and offer you flowers, will you go away?
If there’s trouble wherever you go, then guess what?
In many instances, I wish I have enough middle fingers to go around with.
Indeed, sarcasm falls out of my mouth just as stupid falls from other people.
Just because my intelligence is beyond your understanding doesn’t mean I’m sarcastic.
My circle of connections is really small! One time, I almost cut myself off of it.
My favourite kind of people are those who reply to my sarcasm with their sarcasm.
Not a bad person. But dangerously atrocious, nonetheless.
Not sarcastic. Just brutally honest.
Oh, look what I found! It’s your nose all up in my goddamn business again!
People talk behind my back, and I’m just here like: “Wow, I’ve got a fan club!”
People think I’m funny, but I’m really not. I’m actually pretty mean, but they always think I’m joking.
Perhaps, I’m not made of sugar and spice, but of sarcasm and brazenness.
Stopped fighting my inner demons long ago. We’re on the same side now.
Tell me how I have upset you. For future reference, mostly.
The devil doesn’t need to lead me into temptation because I already know the way.
The reason why I take hot showers is so that I can get used to the feeling of burning in hell.
The smarter you are, the nicer I am.
Unfortunately, I don’t take orders. I hardly even take suggestions.
What? I don’t speak idiot!
When I asked God for divine punishment, I met you the next day.
Why am I always late? Because good things always take time.
Why attend someone’s funeral if they aren’t going to attend yours?
Who says I’m crazy? The voices keep reassuring me that I’m perfectly sane.
Will I be awarded bonus points if I act like I’m actually concerned?
You don’t fancy me? Well, it does take good judgement and a classy pair of discerning eyes to do so.
Funny Sarcastic Captions
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.
Beating up people is illegal, so yeah, let’s just use sarcasm.
Better grab my umbrella. It’s raining stupid outside today.
Clapping not because I liked it, but because it’s finally over.
Closed minds should come with closed mouths, right?
Every person on Earth has the right to be stupid, but some are really abusing the privilege.
Everything I love either costs too much, is prohibited, or doesn’t message back.
Fortunately, mirrors can’t talk. You should be thankful that they can’t laugh either.
Go to hell? But it’s too early for me to go home.
Here you go! It’s a bowl of sarcasm.
Here, hold my dignity. I’ve got some sketchy things to do.
I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow.
If I haven’t pissed you off yet, just wait for your turn patiently. I will get to you shortly.
Just as stupidity is infinite, sarcasm also is.
Just burned a lot of calories trying to avoid someone. What a great workout!
Laughter can cure the world, so go out there and show your face for everyone to see!
Let’s share. You take the grenade, I take the pin.
Life is a soup and I’m a frigging fork!
Life is really good. You should get one.
Lord, give the strength to tolerate stupid people today.
Losing ten pounds is a piece of cake! Only fifteen pounds to go!
Money talks, and mine keeps bidding me farewell.
My parents raised no fool! They raised a psychotic, cold-hearted, sexy beast, yeah, but definitely not a fool.
Of course I speak gibberish! How else would you be able to understand me?
Once I finish tinkering this device that lets you smack people in the face over the internet, I’ll be filthy rich!
Only you can provide what I desperately want—your absence.
People should appreciate the gargantuan effort I put in to not becoming a homicidal maniac.
Revenge doesn’t suit my style. I prefer accidents.
Sarcasm is my mother tongue.
Slapping idiots would be animal abuse, so I try to restrain myself.
Sometimes, I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
Somewhere in the world, my soulmate is pushing a push door. I just know it!
Sorry if I pissed you off. Rest assured that it will happen again.
Talking to myself. Because who else will?
The garbage collector is coming tomorrow. Ready yourself.
They give me questions I don’t know, so I give them answers they don’t know.
This is my cup of care. Oh, would you look at that! It’s empty!
Too sober for all the sh*t that’s happening today.
Who says I’m supposed to be same person I was seven minutes ago?
Would you look at that! My imaginary friend has arrived to the conclusion that you have serious mental problems.
Yawning is a sign that I’m interested. So go on, keep talking.
You call this fat? I call it a 1-pack!
Zombies love devouring brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.
Sarcastic Captions for Selfies
Agreeing with an idiot means we’d both be wrong.
Always an awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that it makes you look stupid.
Am I a hot mess? Nope, I’m a spicy disaster!
Be my guest and leave.
Becoming religious means I can now pray for my enemies to burn in eternal hellfire.
Calm? Me? But I’ve murdered you inside my mind a hundred times already!
Come closer and look at my face. Does it look like I care?
Did it really hurt when I called you stupid? Again, I’m really sorry. I thought you knew all along.
Disagree with me all you want. Being right doesn’t mean everything.
Do you find me saucy and offensive? Then I suggest you quit finding me.
Even when you’re not here, I feel just as miserable. It’s like you’re here.
Everyone sounds better when their mouths are shut tight.
Everyone would be in good shape if they ran as much as their mouth.
Feed your own ego. I’m busy!
Flattered that you’re jealous of me.
Go ahead, underestimate me. I’m sure it’ll be fun.
I find it funny, but I’ve forgotten how to laugh. Damn!
I would certainly be a morning person if I woke up in the morning.
If karma doesn’t hit you like a truck, I’ll be willing to hit you like an airplane.
If your phone doesn’t ring, that’s probably me.
Just because I look indifferent doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Keep rolling your eyes. Perhaps you’ll find a brain back there.
Last time I checked, I didn’t care about anything. And nope, I still don’t care.
My alone time is for your own safety.
My loyalty can never be bought. It can be rented though. Just name the price!
My sarcastic retorts are free of charge! Come get your now!
Notify me when I’m starting to look like I care. I really don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
Oh, no one told you? Perhaps, it’s none of your damn business!
One thing I know is sarcasm is painful euphemism.
Patience is a virtue. Not my virtue though.
People will ask stupid questions no matter what. I guess it’s my legal obligation to offer them sarcastic remarks.
Perhaps, I’m wrong? But, I doubt it.
Pretending to like people is taking a toll on my energy reserves.
Ready in five minutes? Me? I doubt it.
Remember when I asked for your sentiments? Me neither.
Shut your trap when you’re speaking to me.
Think I’m mean, audacious, and sarcastic? Well, watch me pretend to care!
Unless you’re an internet search engine, it’d be wise to stop acting like you know everything.
What a beautiful day to just leave me the f*ck alone.
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me profoundly!
Why do people say I act like I don’t care? I’m not acting!
Woah, I almost gave a f*ck! Scared the sh*t out of me!
You find the words that come out of mouth offensive? Ha! Imagine all the stuff that I’m still holding back.
You don’t like me? Oh sh*t, no way! I’m gonna die! I can’t live like this! Just kidding.
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