One thing about being a nerd is that we can understand all kinds of science jokes. So here we have a collection of science jokes that you would like. And the best part is they can be understood by ordinary people (those who haven’t studied science) as well. So go ahead and read these science jokes to have a laugh.
SCIENCE JOKES
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.” mohdreza
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet. Wenz
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs. Mark My Words
Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything. Anonymous
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can’t put it down. JerryH12
Q: Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist?
A: Because you will get Jurasskicked. the thingy
Q. What do clouds do when they become rich?
A. They make it rain! Anonymous
Want to hear a Potassium joke? K. Taylor
Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react. Anonymous
Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.
Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive. Anonymous
When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, “O MG!” Me
Q: Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can’t heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um. Geronimonius
SCIENCE JOKES IN HINDI
विज्ञान चुटकले-1
मास्टर जी :बच्चो बताओ पानी का अणुसूत्र क्या होता है ?
बच्चे : पता नहीं
मास्टर जी :H2O (बोल कर)
मास्टर जी : अब कोई बच्चा ब्लैक बोर्ड पर लिख कर दिखाए |
एक बच्चा उठा और उस ने लिखा H I J K L M N O लो जी सर जी H to O
विज्ञान चुटकले-2
एक दिन ग्रेगर जान मेंडल अपने डिनर को देख कर चिल्लाये,
“क्या आज फिर मटर मटर मटर की सब्जी”नोकर :सर आज “प्रभावी लक्षणों वाले गुलाबी नाटे वाले” बनाये है |
विज्ञान चुटकले-3
क्या आप उस स्टूडेंट का नाम बता सकते हो जिस को विभिन्न विषयों में एक ‘C’ और चार ‘F’ ग्रेड मिले ??
जी हाँ सर जी ,एक बच्चा :कार्बनटेट्राफ्लोराइड CF4
विज्ञान चुटकले-4
एक वरिष्ठ वैज्ञानिक ने एक कनिष्ठ वैज्ञानिक से पूछा क्या तुम्हारे पास एसिटयिलसेलिसिलिक ऐसिड (acetylsalicylic acid) है
कनिष्ठ वैज्ञानिक: क्या आपका मतलब ‘ऐस्प्रिन’ से है ?
वरिष्ठ वैज्ञानिक :हाँ हाँ यही तो वो कमबख्त नाम है जो मुझे याद नहीं रहता |
विज्ञान चुटकले-5
तीन वैज्ञानिक भोतिकशास्त्री,जीवविज्ञानी और रसायनशास्त्री समुन्द्र की लहरों को देख रहे थे
भोतिकशास्त्री :मै चला लहरों की तरंग गति पर रिसर्च करने और गया वापिस ना आया
जीवविज्ञानी :मै चला समुन्द्र की वनस्पतियों पर रिसर्च करने और गया वापिस ना आया रसायनशास्त्री :कई वर्षों तक बैठा रहा,इंतजार करता रहा और अंत में उसने रिसर्च पेपर छापा कि ” भोतिकशास्त्री और जीवविज्ञानी समुन्द्र के पानी मै घुलनशील होते है “
विज्ञान चुटकले-6
मैडम(बच्चो से) :चलो सब बच्चे कोपी पर बैक्टीरिया का चित्र बनाओ
सब बच्चो ने अपना अपना चित्र दिखाया
एक बच्चे कि कोपी पर कुछ नहीं दिखा
मैडम : आपने नहीं बनाया
बच्चा :मैडम जी ,सूक्ष्मदर्शी से दिखेगा
विज्ञान चुटकले-7
मकेनिकल इंजीनियर(सिविल इंजीनियर को ) :हम बनाते है हथियार तुम क्या बनाते हो
सिविल इंजीनियर :हम बनाते है टारगेट
विज्ञान चुटकले-8
बीच समुन्द्र नाव मे सुराख़ हो गया पानी भरने लगा
किसने क्या किया/कहा
मजदूर -डिब्बे से पानी निकालने लगा(साथी हाथ बढ़ाना)
ज्योतिषी -भाग्य के आगे किस की चली है(जो होना है होके रहेगा)
बीमा एजेंट-मै तो पहले ही कहता था बीमा करवाओ(अब नहीं तो फिर कब )
वैज्ञानिक -आर्कमडीज के सिद्धांत की अनुपालना करो (तैरना जानने वाले कूदते जाओ)
वकील -क्लेम मिल सकता है? पता है ?
नेता जी -अरे भाई सुराख़ के बराबर एक बड़ा सुराख़ कर दो पानी बहार चला जायेगा(देश भी ऐसे ही चल रहा है)
विज्ञान चुटकले-9
थ्योरी ऑफ रिलेटिविटी
मेरे चाय के कप मे दो बाल(कितने ज्यादा है)
मेरे सिर पर दो बाल (कितने कम है)
विज्ञान चुटकले-10
एक अमरीकन विज्ञान रिपोर्ट
हमने गाय और चिकन की संकर नस्ल बना ली है जो दूध के साथ अंडे भी देगी ।
एक फ्रेंच विज्ञान रिपोर्ट
हमने मक्खी और मधुमक्खी की संकर नस्ल बना ली है अब ज्यादा शहद बनेगा।
एक रशियन विज्ञान रिपोर्ट
हमने काक्रोच और तरबूज की संकर नस्ल बना ली है जब तरबूज को काटोगे बीज अपने आप इधर उधर भागेंगे।
एक इंडियन विज्ञान रिपोर्ट
हमने नेता और अभिनेताओं की संकर नस्ल बना ली है जो अब पहले से ज्यादा आसानी से जनता को मुर्ख बना सकेगी|
SCIENCE JOKES FOR STUDENTS
1. Photons have mass?
Who knew they were Catholic?!
2. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I probably won’t get a reaction.
3. Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
4. A neutron walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a beer. How much will that be?”
The bartender answers, “For you? No charge!”
5. How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
6. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
7. Hand over the calculator, friends don’t let friends derive drunk.
8. If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0
9. Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in forty different countries and learned to speak seven languages?
He was a man of many cultures.
10. What was the biologist wearing on his first date?
Designer jeans.
11. The way to a man’s heart in through his veins.
12. Unfortunately, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Amoebas is shrinking.
Fortunately, none of the amoebas has lost any of their members.
13. How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
A very tiny book.
14. What does the sign at the biology lab say?
“STAPH ONLY!”
15. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
16. A molecule tells another: “A free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them!”
17.Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.
18. What do you do with a chemist who is ill?
First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
19. What is the least interesting element?
Bohrium.
20. Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
21. Why is the moon so broke?
It’s down to its last quarter.
22. What is the name of the first electricity detective?
Sherlock Ohms
23. Have you heard that entropy isn’t what it used to be?
24. How many general-relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.
25. What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
Quark, quark, quark!
26. Want to hear a joke about potassium?
K.
27. Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
28. All mushrooms are edible.
Some are only edible once.
29. There are 10 kinds of people:
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
30. Why did the hipster chemist get burned?He touched the beaker before it was cool!
SCIENCE JOKES FOR TEACHERS
31. There are only bad science jokes left.
All the good ones argon.
32. What did the microbiology student get for being late to class?
A tardigrade.
33. How much room do fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
34. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down its genes.
35. A frog is worried about his love life, so he goes to a psychic for help.
The psychic tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog is thrilled and asks: “Where will I meet her?”
The psychic replies: “In her biology class.”
36. What do you do when your science jokes don’t get a laugh?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.
37. Why didn’t the sun go to graduate school?
Because it already had a million degrees!
38. Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
It was full!
39. I was going to tell a joke about sodium, but Na.
40. Two scientists walk into a bar.
“I’ll have an H2O,” says the first.
“I’ll have an H2O, too,” says the second.
The second scientist dies.
41. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
42. How come noses run and feet smell?
43. What’s a mathematician’s favorite season?
Sum-mer.
44. We really shouldn’t talk about mitosis…
It’s such a divisive issue.
45. What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
Au revoir.
46.What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
You may have graduated but I’ve got many degrees.
47. What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?
BaNaNa.
48.Einstein developed a theory about space — it was about time!
49. What is a cation afraid of?
A dogion.
50. If a prince farts, is it a noble gas?
51. Two blood cells met and fell in love.
Alas it was all in vein.
52. What did one decimal say to the number?
Did you get my point?
53. A hug without u is like Mercury.
Hg.
54. Why is electricity the perfect student?
Because it conducts itself so well.
55. Why do quantum physicists make bad pitchers?
Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can’t find the position
56. Why do you go to jail for throwing Sodium Chloride at somebody?
It’s a salt!
57. What did is a nuclear physicist’s favorite snack?
Fission Chips.
58. What’s the physicist’s favorite part at baseball games?
The wave.
59. Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
To get to the same side.
60. The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full — half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.