If you like chemistry jokes then you are in the right place here we have shared a number of chemistry jokes which will make you laugh so hard. So take a look at these chemistry jokes and doing forget to share with your friends as well.
CHEMISTRY JOKES
Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?Drinking.
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?He just couldn’t put it down.
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?How did it go?It went OK2!
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?They’re cheaper than day rates.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…He said NaBrO
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?A: CSI
Q: What is the chemical formula for “coffee”?A: CoFe2
Q: What is the chemical formula for “banana”?A: BaNa2
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?A: It went OK.We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes… but we only update them…. periodically!
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?A: NaMaking bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?A: Never lick the spoon!
Helium walks into a bar,The bar tender says “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”Helium doesn’t react.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, “AU, get outta here!”Two chemists go into a restaurant.The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.”The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?A: HeHe
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?A: He got Avogadro’s number!
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.The proton says, “Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it.”The neutron says “Are you sure?” The proton replies “I’m positive.”
Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:Anions aren’t negative, they’re just misunderstood.
The optimist sees the glass half full.The pessimist sees the glass half empty.The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?A: H2O cubed.
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?A: OH SNaP!A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, “For you, no charge”.
Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?A: Barium
Q: What did one ion say to the other?A: I’ve got my ion you.
Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?A: To reduce his carbon footprint.
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?A: One molar solution.A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Oh Bunsen, my flame,” the sodium pined. “I melt whenever I see you,” The Bunsen burner replied, “It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
Q: What do you call a clown who’s in jail?A: A silicon.
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?A: Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?A: Separation anxiety.
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?A: Because it’s in the ground state.
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: “Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!” The husband replied, “Calm down, honey. We’ll find a solution.”
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it’ll combine with anything.
Q: What did one titration say to the other?A: “Let’s meet at the endpoint.”
Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?A: Breaking up is hard to do.Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.
Q: What is “HIJKLMNO”?A: H2O.
Q: When one physicist asks another, “What’s new?” what’s the typical response?A:C over lambda.
Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?A: By subsisting on titrations.
Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle?A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
Q: Why can’t lawyers do NMR?A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Q: What element is derived from a Norse god?A: Thorium.
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
Q: What element is a girl’s future best friend?A: Carbon.Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Q: What is the name of 007’s Eskimo cousin?A: Polar Bond.
Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?A: Laboratory Retrievers
Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?A: 2 Na
CHEMISTRY JOKES IN HINDI
कल मेरा एक जिगरी यार मुझ से नाराज़ हो गया….. बेतहा नाराज़ हो गया….. बेतहाशा नाराज़।।।गलती मेरी ही थी ….. वजह भी बड़ी वाजिब थी।बात ये हुई कि उनकी पत्नी यानी हमारी प्रिय भाभी जी दुर्घटनाग्रस्त हो गईं। एक कोई अस्थि (हड्डी) टूट गयी थी।एक प्रसिद्ध अस्थिरोग विशेषज्ञ से संपर्क व परामर्श हुआ।आपरेशन होगा ये तय हो गया। दोस्त टेंशन में था।
मैंने पूछा खर्चा तो काफ़ी हो जाएगा ना ?हां… दोस्त ने सर हिलाया।।मैंने फिर पूछा : लाखों में?दोस्त ने फिर हाँ कहा…..।बस यहीं मैं गड़बड़ कर बैठा ….. जबमज़ाक में ….. दोस्त का टेंशन दूर कर केउसे हंसाने के लिए मुंह से निकल गया
कि …… इतने में तो दूसरी आ जाती यार ।।मेरा दोस्त भड़क गया ।यार का गुस्सा होना तो बनता ही है….ऐसे टेंशन वाले माहौल में…..और दांत भींच के बोला ” .. कमीने……अब बता रहा है जब 50% एडवांस दे चुका हूँ
Chemistry की क्लास में सर ने 1 लड़की से पुछा!“What is Nitrate ?”लड़की शर्मा कर बोलीक्या सर, आप भी न क़सम से एक दम direct हो जाते होनाईट रेट is 5000/-सिर्फ आप के लिए……..
Chemistry ki class mein Sir ne 1 Ladki se poocha!“What is Nitrate ?”Ladki sharma kar boliKya sir, aap bhi na qasam se ekdum direct ho jaate hoNight Rate is 5000/-sirf aap ke liye……..
रसायन शास्त्र की कक्षा मेंटीचर: पानी का फॉर्मूला बताओस्टूडेंट: H2O + MgCl2 + CaSO4 + AlCl3 + NaOH + KOH + HNO3 +HCl + CO2 …टीचर: ये उत्तर गलत है .स्टूडेंट: मैडम, ये नाले का पानी है।
एक नेताजी की दोस्ती एक फिल्म अभिनेत्री से हो गई।कुछ महीनों के बाद नेताजी को लगने लगा कि उन्हें अभिनेत्री से प्यार हो गया है, उन्होंने मन ही मन तय किया कि वे उससे शादी करेंगे।….पर चूंकि लड़की फिल्मों में काम करती थी, और उसका मिलना-जुलना काफी लोगों से था, अतः नेताजी ने सोचा कि शादी का प्रस्ताव रखने के पहले उसके चरित्र, परिवार आदि के बारे में जानकारी ले लेना बेहतर होगा।उन्होंने अपने सेक्रेटरी से लड़की के पीछे एक प्राइवेट जासूस लगाने को कहा, साथ ही सख्त हिदायत दी कि, जासूस को यह पता नहीं चलना चाहिए कि, “वह यह काम मेरे लिए कर रहा है”।लगभग दो महीनों की छानबीन के बाद जासूस की रिपोर्ट सेक्रेटरी के माध्यम से नेताजी को मिली, जो कुछ इस तरह से थी!!“लड़की का चरित्र एकदम बेदाग़ है, लड़की का परिवार, उसके रिश्तेदार और दोस्त सभी बड़े ही भले एवं संभ्रात लोग हैं!..परन्तु… ऐसी जानकारी मिली है कि पिछले कुछ महीनों से यह लड़की अक्सर एक निहायत ही चरित्रहीन एवं घटिया किस्म के नेता के साथ देखी जा रही है ..
Naa ye CHEMISTRY hoti, na me STUDENT hotaNa wo LAB hoti, na wo LOVE ACCIDENT hota
Tabhi PRACTICAL ke waqt nazar aayi ek ladkikhubsurat is naak uski TEST TUBE jaisiUski baaton me GLUCOSE ki mithas thiETHYL ALCOHOL is thandi uski saans thi
Andhere me wo RADIUM ki tarah chamakti thi jab aankh mili to REACTION hua, love ka PRODUCTION hua!
Fir to lagne lage uske ghar ke chakkar aiseNUCLEUS ke charo aur ELECTRON jaise
Jis din TEST ka PERFECTION thaus din uske pitaji se hamara INTRODUCTION tha
Mano IGNITION TUBE se SODIUM ke piece nikal pade
wo bole hosh me aao, pehchano apni aukatIRON kabhi mil nahi sakta GOLD ke saath!
Is tarah tod diya unhone hamare armano ka BEAKERhum chup hi reh gaye BENJALDEHYDE ka ghoont pikar.
Ab unki yado ke bina hamara kaam chalta nahi hai
zindagi ho gayi AB UNSATURATED CARBON ki tarah,bekar ghumte AB hum awaara HYDROGEN ki tarah .